Everyone who gambles has a different reason why they do so. As one of Australia’s most most popular casinos though, we can honestly say that the majority of our loyal members gamble purely for fun.

This is by far the best way to view your gambling endeavours, because by looking at it as a form of entertainment it never loses its original appeal. Of course, various betting strategies (such as having a loss amount that you will walk away at) will ensure you can enjoy gambling to its fullest. As will reading lighthearted gambling jokes that portray the experience of online betting in a humorous light.

For this reason, the team here at Fair Go have handpicked some of our favourite gambling, gaming and virtual casino-related jokes. Not only will some of them have you crying with laughter, they’ll also help you see gambling for what it really is… a bloody good time.

So sit back and enjoy the following puns, gags and side-splitting stories collected by your friends at Fair Go casino. And never forget that having fun with online gambling is what it’s all about.

1. The lucky husband and the unlucky wife

Husband: Great news darl! Pack up your things. I just won a $1,000 on a Fair Go pokie
Wife: Cool! Should I pack for warm weather or cold?
Husband: I don’t care… just so long as you’re out of the house by lunchtime

2. The bold butcher

Gambler: Are you a gambling man, Mr. Butcher?
Butcher: Why yes, I certainly am
Gambler: Great. Then I bet you $500 that you can’t reach up to touch that beef hanging on the hooks there
Butcher: I’m not betting on that… the stakes are too high

3. The sly student

Mother: Mr. Headmaster, I need your help stopping my son from gambling. I don’t know why he loves it so much but all he can think about is winning money
Headmaster: Leave this to me

Seven days later the headmaster phones the boy’s mother

Headmaster: I think I’ve cured him
Mother: How did you do it?
Headmaster: Well, he was looking at my beard and he said that he thought it was false, so I asked if he was willing to wager on it
Mother: Ok… so then what happened
Headmaster: He bet $5 dollars and I invited him to pull at my beard, whereupon he quickly discovered that it was 100% natural. I’m certain that this loss will teach him a lesson
Mother: No… I’m certain it won’t
Headmaster: Why’s that?
Mother: Because he made a $10 bet with me at the start of the week that he would pull your beard with your permission by the end of the week!

4. The hoodwinked show-off

A strong young man was on a construction site bragging that he could beat anyone in a feat of strength.

After several minutes of boasting and calling the other workers out, an older worker said, “I’ll bet you a week’s wage that I can carry something in a wheelbarrow to that fence that you won’t be able to bring back in the wheelbarrow”.

Confident that he could haul anything, the young man replied, “You’re on… old timer”.

Slowly, the old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles, before nodding to the cocky young man and saying, “All right, get in”.

5. The naive new member

Customer support: May I have your username, sir?
Member: Sure. My username is “Bugs Bunny, Kev the Koala, Blinky Bill, Micky Mouse, Road Runner, Mr. Squiggle, Sydney
Customer support: Wow! Can I ask why you have a username like that?
Member: Why? You guys told me it had to be six characters long and include a capital

6. The homeless helper

Homeless man: Excuse me sir, can you spare $1?
Gambler: Will you buy grog?
Homeless man: No
Gambler: Will you feed it into the pokies?
Homeless man: No
Gambler: Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn’t drink or gamble?

7. The hard done by hubby

A bloke comes home from his mate’s house three hours later than what he’d promised his wife.

“Where the bloody hell have you been?” screams his missus.

“I’ve been player poker with a few mates” says the husband.

“Playing poker with your mates!?” the wife yells furiously. “Well, you can pack your bags and bugger off”.

“So can you” the husband says. “This isn’t our house anymore”.

8. The late-night lecture

An old Aussie bushman is stopped by police just outside of Wagga Wagga at 2 am and asked where he’s off to at this time in the morning.

The bushman replies, “I’m on my way to a lecture about the effect that gambling, alcohol abuse, smoking and staying out late has on the body”.

The officer then askes incredulously, “Really? And who is giving a lecture like that at 2 am on a Sunday morning”?

“My wife” says the man.

9. The bingo diagnosis

According to a story from The School of Psychology at the University of Sydney, a professor had just finished a long lecture about mental health and decided to give the students a quick oral quiz.

The course that the professor was teaching was about manic depression, so he asked, “What diagnosis would you give to a person who sits quietly and minds their own business one minute then all of a sudden begins to swear and wave their arms in the air the next minute”?

A young student then raised her hand at the rear of the room.

“Yes dear?” he answers.

“I’d say she’s a bingo player, sir” said the girl.

10. The bamboozled blackjack dealer

A blackjack dealer and a young gambler with 13 count in his hand are arguing about whether or not it is appropriate to tip the dealer.

The player says, “When I get bad cards it’s not the dealer’s fault, nor does the dealer have any influence over whether I get good cards or not. So, why should I tip you”?

The blackjack dealer, clearly fishing for a bit of extra pocket money replies, “But sir, when you eat at a restaurant you tip the waiter, don’t you”?

“Yes” says the young gambler.

“Well, like the waiter I am serving you something” says the blackjack dealer. “Instead of food though it’s cards”.

“Ahhh that’s true, but a waiter only serves me what I ask for” says the young gambler. “So, in that case I’ll take an eight”!

11. The opportunistic professor

A group of friends from Brisbane flew down to Melbourne to spend a weekend at the Crown Casino. At midnight on the first day one of the men on the trip wins $100,000.

Rather than tell his mates he just hit the jackpot, he decides to keep his good fortune a secret and fly home in the wee hours of the morning to hide his loot.

Upon arriving back in Brisbane at 3 am, he goes straight to his backyard, digs a hole and plants the money.

The following morning, he walks outside to check his buried treasure, only to find an empty hole. Next to the hole is a trail of footsteps, footsteps that lead to the house next door that’s owned by a deaf-mute.

In the same street lives a professor who is practiced in sign language and who is therefore able to communicate with the deaf-mute man.

Grabbing a gun, the now-enraged man runs down the street, wakes up the professor and proceeds to drag him to the deaf-mute man’s doorstep.

“Tell this bloke that if he doesn’t give me back my $100,000 I’m going to murder him”, he yells at the professor.

Doing as he is told, the professor conveys this message to the deaf-mute man. The man, clearly shaken, replies in sign language that he’s hid it in his backyard, underneath a jacaranda tree.

The professor then turns to the man with the gun and says, "He's not going to tell you. He said he'd rather die first."

12. The poker nudist

There was a woman in Perth who played poker once a month with a few of her female co-workers.

Every time she plays, she always gets into trouble for waking her husband up when she comes home around 1 am.

For this reason, she decides that after one particular card playing session with her friends, she’d try her best not to rouse him.

So when she gets home she opens the door quietly, undresses in the living room and put her purse back over her shoulder. She then tiptoed nude into the bedroom, only to find her husband sitting up in bed reading.

“Strewth, woman” he exclaimed, “Did you lose everything”!

Put a smile on your dial and some cash in your pocket by playing with Fair Go today!

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